The next couple of weeks have been quiet. I haven’t heard anything from Odell. Well, I did block his number, so I’m not going to hear anything from him. I can’t deal with his back and forth. August has not been pleased with me; I’ve been staying at his house for the past couple of weeks. He’s irritated, but I know he appreciates my help. I know how hard it is to love someone who does not love you back, so I’ve been giving him space.
I took the liberty of deleting every hoe number from his phone. Well, any number that I did not recognize. So, family and a few celebrities were left on his phone. Of course, August wasn’t happy to find out that 95 percent of his contacts were gone, but he’ll get over it. He hates to ask for help from me because he feels like he should be helping me and not the other way around. “That’s what big brothers are supposed to do,” he told me. I love that sometimes he has to depend on me; it means I get to show him how much I have matured.
"Ash, mom is here with Avalon," August called out.
My mother had been watching Avalon for a while, although she brings her to me on the weekends. Primarily for August's sake, I'm glad she is there too. Today my mother has an appointment; Avalon is not happy. She loved being with my mother. I feel like I should feel some way, but I don’t. I see Avalon plenty, and my mother loves having her around. I would never take that from her. I know August loves to see her, and her presence brings him a distraction as well. Hopefully, she can cheer him up more than I have been able to. I walked out of my room and down the stairs; my mother held Avalon in the doorway. August was holding the car seat and the diaper bag; he looked happier already.
"Mommy's baby." I cooed as I walked up to her. I scooped her up and showered her with many kisses. "I missed you so much," I told her. I turned to walk away when I heard a familiar voice.
"And I've missed you," a deep voice said.
I turned and let out a little gasp. Odell was standing in the hallway; I didn’t know if I should be angry or sad. I chose to be sad, I’ve missed him so much, and I did not want to hide it. I quickly walked over to him, and he pulled us into a deep embrace. He smelled so good, and he felt so warm. It wasn't until Avalon started squirming in my arms that he pulled back, but he still had a hold of me.
He smiled at her, "I've missed you, little one." She just looked up at him with wide eyes curiously. She knew who he was, but he needed to spend more time with her, in my opinion. "Can I hold her"?
Without hesitation, I handed her to him. She watched me as I handed her off, but she did not cry. After she was nestled into his arms comfortably, she looked up at him and watched him. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw someone moving closer. I turned and found my mom headed toward us.
She pulled me into a hug. "I have to go. Call me later." I knew she wanted all the gossip about what Odell and I would discuss. I nodded and hugged her back. She let go and then kissed Avalon on the forehead. She looked at Odell, then turned and walked out of the house. I chuckled, and Odell smiled.
"I'll be in my room," August said. I knew he didn’t want to be around Odell.
"Can you take Avalon?" I asked, never looking away from Odell. He looked confused, but he met my gaze. I wanted to spend time with him. August walked over to us, and he took Avalon. Just as he made his way to his room, the doorbell rang.
"I got it" I walked to the door and opened it. Standing there was someone I told to leave my brother and me alone.
"Gabby," August called out. Shit, I did not want him to see her. I glared at her and folded my arms.
“You don’t know how to listen; what the hell do you want?” I asked. I felt August walk up behind me.
"I know what you said, Ash, but I couldn't stay away. Your, my sister, and I need you." She then turned and looked at August. "And I love him so damn much; he is all I can think of. I-I am so sorry, August. I made a huge mistake by letting you go, and if you have me, both of you, I'd love to be a part of your lives again".
I wanted to put everything behind us at that moment, but she hurt my brother, and I couldn’t forgive her that easily. I turned and looked at August. He looked down at Avalon, who was staring right back at him. August finally looked up with tears in his eyes; my heart was breaking for him. I knew it wasn't an easy decision. I walked over to him and held my hands out for my baby.
"Don't answer right away. Why don't you all go to the living room and talk." I gave him a half-smile. He looked at me and smiled; he knew what I was trying to do. "Listen to your heart."
"I could say the same to you, too," he pointed out. I looked back at Odell, who was watching everything unfold.
I looked back at August, "That’s completely different, but I will." I took a step back, and August held his hand out for Gabby to come in. She slowly walked in, but she was looking at me. I wanted to smile, but all I did was stare. Then I turned and walked over to the door, closing it. Odell walked back up to me and held out his hands. I smiled and handed Avalon back to him.
"She looks just like you. So beautiful," Odell said. I smiled and looked up at him. After a few seconds, he met my gaze; his eyes looked so sad and lost. Without knowing it, I reached for his face and cupped his face with my hand.
"How have you been?" I asked. I slowly started to bring my hand away from his face; I almost had my hand at my side when Odell reached out and grabbed onto it.
"Sad. Alone. Guilty. Depressed as fuck. Shitty," he stated. I looked down; I felt it was my fault even though I knew all I did was protect my heart.
"I'm-" I started to say, but he cut me off.
"Don’t. Don’t you dare; you have no reason to be sorry. I'm the one who should be apologizing to you. I am so sorry, Ash. I was a complete ass, and I will understand if you want nothing to do with me. I ask that I still be a part of Avalon's and your life, even if we are just friends. You make me a better person," he explained.
I honestly did not know what to say. I wanted him to be in my life, but at the same time, I love him so much. If he is in my life, I'm afraid I may let my guard down and open my heart to him, and I could get hurt again.
"You can be in our lives, Odell." That was all I could say. A smile slowly started to appear on his lips, his eyes boring into mine. "But you can not be in my heart," I finished. As quickly as his smile appeared, it vanished. He looked sad, but he nodded, lips pressed together. I knew he wanted to plead his case, but he didn’t, and I’m so happy.
With his hand in mine, I led him to the extra bedroom downstairs. It had a nursery attached to it; it’s where I sleep when Avalon and I are at August's house. Once he got Avalon asleep, Odell placed her in the bassinet, and we retired to the bedroom. I stripped down to my underwear, Odell watching me so intensely. I blushed under his gaze; I quickly got under the blankets. I heard Odell give a low chuckle at my actions. He stripped down to his boxers, and then he climbed into the bed beside me. I wanted to touch him, kiss him and fuck him, but the memories of him with other women gave me the strength not to touch him. I turned my back to him and closed my eyes; a few seconds passed, and then his arms wrapped around me and pulled me close to him. I let out a breath that I did not know I held. I felt safe and warm; it felt nice. But that feeling also scared me.
