What are we?
Are we friends? A couple? Sex friends?
My mind continued to wander.
I stared out the window in a daze, thoughts surrounding me. The clear blue sky was always my solitude. No matter where I was. It brought me back to Kyoto. The blue sky, the birds chipping, the silence.
Kawamura lit up a cigarette and sat on the chair beside the bed. He glanced attentively at me as I continued to stare at the sky. The clear sky soared gently with the breeze rattling against the window, I thought of my family, and I wondered how their life was back in Kyoto.
I could still picture my father running here and there to meet various clients during work; and my mother cooking dinner as she smiled at herself, asking if the dinner tastes delicious. One thought of my memory from the past was enough to make tears appear at the brink of my eyelashes. I longed for the warmth of my family. As I blinked, tears rolled down making my vision misty. I released a soft sob.
No, I had no more right to miss them. For I had betrayed my family for a week of freedom. The freedom that had robbed me of my life. That life was calm and peaceful. And I exchanged it for a useless dream.
Kawamura reached out, wrapping both arms around me and embracing me tightly until my bones started to ache. I grimaced in pain while looking up at Kawamura whom he looked at me with a pained expression. Seeing his expression of feeling my pain, my hands lifted and gently brushed against his cheeks and whispered:
“I’m fine, don’t worry about me.”
Taken by my assuring smile, his finger traced the outline of my face. Stopping at my lips, he leaned closer and gave me a peck. I was shocked but otherwise relieved that he was back to his gentle attitude. I laid my head against his well-built chest and signed. No one had ever made me feel so passionate, no one had ever made me so perfect and complete in life...
Was this meant to be? Maybe?
Suddenly, my phone rang. I jumped up from Kawamura’s arms; he reacted cautiously. I answered the phone and my sister’s voice filled the line. She asked if I was alright. I bit my lips and hesitated, how was I going to explain my side of the story?
As my actions never cease to be missed by Kawamura, he snatched the phone and told my sister to wait patiently in a blunt manner. After that, he hung up without a word. Noticing the current situation, I sank down to my knees and thought about what should be done. A relationship between two men, how was I supposed to explain to my sister and Rin?
The thought of Rin’s reaction made me unable to think realistically.
Furthermore, if the company were to be informed about such a scandal, how will the company’s reputation become? All the years of work my sister and I did for the company will be in ruins. My hope collapsed once more as the reality began to “appear”, one after another.
Kawamura knelt down and tilt his face up, facing me.
“Please be calm and don’t overthink the future. I know our status now is a lot to take in, but at the very least; don’t abandon me since I’ll always be right by your side.”
His gentle words touched my heart and I immediately swirled back to his focus.
I nodded at him and smiled, “Thank you, Kawamura”.
He frowned and said, “Call me Shin. We are no longer strangers.”
I realized that and blushed involuntarily, “Yes, S-Shin.”
Hearing my reply, he smiled as he embraced me once more, kissing my cheek lovingly.
After breakfast, he accompanied me down to the lift and held my hand. “If anything happens, I’ll always help. Remember that.”
I nodded and smiled at him.
“Another thing, if you do not come to me the next day or fail to contact me; I’ll search the entire world to look for you. If you want to run away, be prepared for I’ll never let you go. Ever again...” He added with a splint of evilness in his eyes.
I whispered, “I’ll always be yours...but I have to talk with my family first... I’ll get back to you, don’t worry.”
Satisfied with my answer, he nodded as I walked away from him. I could feel his stare on my back for minutes until I got into a taxi.
“I will not leave you,” I whispered to myself.
“That is a promise.”
