“Success. The experiment is completed.”
This calculating motionless voice triggered me with hatred. I pulled at my restricted hands with such force the buckles broke. The first thing I did was punch the hell out of that man with the twisted smile.
“You disgusting freaks!!” I shouted, loathing at my voice, for it had deepened and was transformed into an unknown masculine voice.
Ignoring my curses, they laughed pleasingly. As it turned out, they were experimenting on how to change the gender of humans without going through the operation. Due to the high risks, no one dared to support nor sponsor their tests and experiments. Out of desperation, they decided to kidnap a random person on the street. That person was me. I was a sacrifice to them.
It was not over.
My hands were forcefully bounded and I was dragged into another room. Losing my strength, I cried and sobbed my heart out at the outcome of my identity. I thought of my future and how could I face my family back home. Everything was lost to me.
As my mind swirled into chaos, those bastards began calling and shouting at one another. At some point, my mind blocked out every noise and sound. The only sound I heard was the neverending beeping sound that somehow hypnotises you into a trance.
I allowed myself to be pushed around from room to room without putting up a fight. I felt the nervous adrenaline sprouting from those guys as if they had messed up something bad. Regardless, none of it was my business.
I only refocused my consciousness on one goal.
I had to escape.
I listened and waited for a particular instruction, the arrival of their ‘master’. I kept thinking they could have at least made a secret code or something so it makes it difficult for me to figure things out.
At last, I got my chance. I could sense the immediate tension in everyone. The way they straightened their coats and stood up formally.
It is now or never.
Once the main door opened, I jabbed my knee upwards as hard as I could towards my captor, scoring my goals on his balls. He yelped and released his grip on me. I pushed my way out and fled, despite tears clouding my vision.
I ran and ran, not knowing where I am heading nor is there anyone hot on my trail. All I know is that a step further is a step safer. My vision blurred and my knees nearly wobbled to the ground. I ignored my pain and pushed further. Until I see a familiar sight.
And there I was, back on the streets of Shibuya. The familiar sight of everyone hurrying along the streets, rushing to their business meetings or appointments. Although the street was packed with people, I was an outcast.
I was alone, without food, shelter and belongings. I do not even remember the manga cafe I lived in before or how to get there. I wandered along the streets and walked past a church as I heard music filling the air, “Hark the Herald angels sing, glory to the newborn king ...”
Only then did I realise it was Christmas Eve. The festival of family closeness and celebration. Once again, I thought of my family back at home, loneliness struck me like an arrow once more. I had not even realised I was crying until a kind woman stopped by and offered me a tissue. That gesture alone gave me the warmth I had not experienced for a long time.
Not knowing where my destination was, I continued walking until I stopped at a family park. It was deserted and dark with only a few lampposts lighting up. There was not even a single homeless person around.
I sat down heavily on a bench and sighed desperately. “Just great. Now, what do I do? Do I go home? Can I go home? How do I go home?”
I spent ten minutes thinking of a way out whilst looking out for any suspicious people. Just as I was about to leave the park and travel to an unknown destination, I heard a weird astonishing sound that sounded like two people kissing. A lewd sound escaped.
What ... was that?
A series of soft whispers travelled to my ears, words that make every bit of my body twinge in a weird way. I glanced around nervously. True to be known, I found a couple kissing on a bench next to mine. I was dumbfounded as they were embracing tenderly with hands leeching all over each other.
There were different sounds which I couldn’t quite picture. Closing my eyes, I listened as hard as I could. As I continued to listen, I realised the couple were two men. A gay couple. Another lewd sound appeared.
How does one make that?!
There was a chuckle and I saw both guys looking at me. I froze as they embraced each other and kissed as a signal of departing. The older man with glasses and a dark navy coat departed. The other man came up to me and introduced himself as a host in a gay club. I was shocked at the introduction since it was my first time meeting with a homosexual.
“Hello, are you okay? You shouldn’t be here at this time. You might be kidnapped based on how cute you are”, he says with a wink.
Kidnapped? If only you knew.
He started a friendly conversation which made me open up. I told him about my current situation and how I was struggling to find a place to stay. He felt sympathy for me and invited me to the host club. After his effective persuasion, I went with him. He introduced me to the owner of the club, named Nana.
“Oh my!! He’s cute! Where did you find him?”
I looked at this gorgeous lady in her fitted red dress, accessorized with tasteful jewellery and 101% confidence. Avoiding her gaze, I blushed unknowingly. She smiled sweetly and took my hand.
Like how the guy that invited me, Nana had a charismatic and nurturing demeanour that made me open up. Slowly, I shared my current situation and how I needed a place to stay.
The label I gave myself: a runaway.
A runaway.
She heard my part of my story and immediately offered me to work in the club. She offered me accommodation as well as a salary. At first, I was reluctant at the thought of entertaining men. But seeing the condition I was in, I finally gave in and accepted her offer.
As a newcomer, I was to be taken under someone else’s wing. Tomo, the man that invited me offered to mentor me, teaching me the ways of being a host. As a ‘new man’, I had to adjust to the lifestyle of living as a man.
Thus, my new life began in the club.
I had to arrive at 6 pm every day to open up the club. My daily tasks were cleaning and setting up the tables and chairs. Tomo-chan, as they called him, was very kind towards me. He taught me a lot about fashion and dressing in a trendy way. Unconsciously, I began to enjoy life in the club. Everyone was friendly to me and treated me very well.
After a week of probation, I started to entertain customers. I was extremely nervous and unwilling on my first try. Giving me a boost of encouragement, Tomo-chan ensured me that this job is better than prostitution. The jobs I will be doing are like a waiter; pouring wine, serving food, and sitting and chatting with the customers. Although there would be the usual occurrence of touching and kissing, at the very least; sex is off the table.
As the days passed to weeks, I began to be more comfortable living as a man. For one, it was never as easy as I thought. The excessive public hair, the unbelievably increased amount of appetite, my increased height, my morning problem...
Remembering the first time I woke up with such a problem. I was almost late whilst trying to make it go away.
How do men deal with this?!
I could never get used to my voice. My deep and throaty voice.
Like it or not, I have to live it.
