Lately, I met a guy at work who always treated me to a drink after hours.
Somehow, he always has a way to lighten up my days with the stories he encountered during his stay overseas. I found his company enjoyable as we hung out almost 24 hours a day. He did not talk much about his family situation, which I was thankful for as I did not want to expose my identity. We often talked about our points on various topics and our hobbies towards certain things. He seemed like an easy guy and had crucial views on certain issues. He is homosexual.
However, he had not dated anyone since three years ago. The past was hard for him to explain, for someone had asked him before and he turned them down politely. So I was careful enough to not ask about this particular issue. Aside from that, we often meet up during off-hours for a bit of drinking and some bonding. He loved to talk about his hometown in Osaka. Since he did not talk about his identity, I only called him by his name --- Jin.
Jin often took me for walks and treated me to delicious cuisines in sophisticated restaurants. Everyone seemed to know him and treated him with high respect. This happened several times, I began to get curious about his identity. We met through a nightclub when we glanced at each other across the bar table. We saw an interest in each other and offered a drink when I saw him sitting down with a glass of vodka tonic in his hand.
Before accepting the drink, he stared back at me as if he found me interesting. We began to drink and talk deeply, ignoring everything that was going on. One guy appeared to flirt with Jin but soon went off sulking as Jin paid no attention to him. By the time we wanted to leave, it was already six in the morning. We kindly shook hands before promising to meet up again.
Weeks later, we were still getting along like old friends. We would meet whenever we were free for movies, coffee, outings or walks. He changed my life. He changed my routine. Most of all, he changed me.
I started to smile.

Two months later, we were having our usual walk in our favourite park when I realized my rental was due today. I told him I had to rush back for my rental when he took hold of my hand and asked me if I would want to move in with him.
As the words left his mouth, I gasped in shock while staring at him; with my mouth hanging wide open. He laughed at my expression saying that he owns a single-storey detached house which was almost empty. He was trying to find some people to share the rooms which no one used. After his explanation, he asked me again if I wanted to be his roommate. I agreed as I knew that was no problem...no problem at all.
In a few days, I had my things packed and ready. I told my landlord about my circumstances and he insisted there was no problem with me moving out. I waited for the moving van to arrive while lighting up a cigarette. Puffing slowly, I reminisced about my fondest memories of living here. Well, not many happy ones to be honest. But I could pick out a few.
“Another new beginning”, I signed. “I’ll need to start jotting down all the places I lived or cities. That would be fun when I’m eighty.” I paused.
“If I’ll ever live to that age”.
The moving van arrived within minutes, loading my life’s possessions into the back before shutting the door with a slam. I hopped in the passenger’s seat and said farewell to my ex-landlord. I watched my first rented house in Malaysia drifting further away. Mixed emotions surfaced.
As I reached his house, he was waiting at the front. He gave me a wide smile while helping me to unload the boxes from the van. He showed me inside and I found my favourite spot: the balcony; with a fabulous view of the sunset.
He carried the boxes to my room which was already furnished with a queen-size bed, a computer table, a wardrobe, a lamp and a small table lazing in the middle of the room. There was also a huge carpet across the room, sinking my feet into them. The walls were decorated with wallpapers in blue with the design of the sea.
Jin had also placed an air purifier beside my bed. The bed sheets were in the colour of soft light blue with patterns similar to the waves of the sea. I smiled at all the furnishing and turned to Jin standing behind me with a big grin.
“How do you like it, my princess?” He asked jokingly while placing a hand on my shoulder. I slapped his hand away playfully and jumped onto the bed. It was soft as I imagined it would be. I sighed contently and snuggled to sleep, ignoring Jin’s hungry cries.
By the time I had awakened, the sun had gone down, and the moon and stars were shining in the midst of darkness. That was a good sleep.
I made my way to the living room and found Jin lying on the sofa with his eyes closed. I quietly tiptoed to the sofa and glanced at his sleeping face. He looks perfect.
His long hair lingered around his forehead, covering his thin cheeks. His eyes were closed tightly with long eyelashes curled at the base. His face was clean without any cuts showing the outline of his face shape. His body lay across the sofa with his feet dangling at the edge. His arms were folded, crushing his shirt and exposing his low neck. His lips were slightly apart, making soft snores and occasional grunts.
I smiled down at him. He was no doubt good-looking and had a celebrity aura. If I had met him first, I might fall for him unconditionally. After staring for several minutes, my stomach signalled hunger so I dashed off to the kitchen to make dinner. His kitchen was mostly empty, except for a few pots and pans which were hardly used. I cooked a simple home-cooked meal of rice, miso soup, unagi fish, steamed vegetables and green tea. For dessert, I whipped up some fresh yoghurt I bought the day before. As I sat down to eat, the clock stroked at nine.
Before I could eat a mouthful of rice, a hand cupped over my eyes and a voice whispered, “How dare you start eating before me?”
I unveiled my eyes and saw Jin awake with his hair messed up and untidy. I found his gaze exceptionally sexy. Taking a deep breath, I readjusted my beating heart.
“Calm down my heart. And shut up brain. No ideas about this man.” I scolded myself.
“Sorry, I didn’t dare to wake you up,” I said teasingly. He laughed at me and sat down to eat.
Jin complimented my cooking and asked me to cook meals every day. I laughed and jokingly asked for his preferred menu. To which he replied seriously, “I’ll eat whatever you cook since it’s done by you.” Hearing the shocking “confession”, I blushed very red and hid my face.
Upon seeing my expression, he smiled widely and sipped a mouthful of beer. He stood up and took another can from the fridge and gave it to me. “Cheers!!!” I laughed loudly and drank the beer in one gulp.
After finishing our meal, we went out for more wine to celebrate as well as to satisfy our thirst. I had my usual vodka shot while Jin ordered a gin tonic. After a couple of drinks, we went down to the dance floor. Jin started to flirt with a bleached-haired guy with a frail figure. The other seemed psyched as he pressed up against him. I watched quietly from afar.
After a few minutes, I was exhausted and ordered another long island. I went to the bar and sat there, swallowing one shot; I ordered another cocktail which gave me a sweet taste. Finally, I was done drinking and stood up; searching for Jin. That was when I saw that he had disappeared along with another guy. So I left home alone.
I walked along the sidewalk, glancing up at the night sky; counting the stars. I knew this can not go on. I am now 23 years old. I have to get rid of the past and focus on the future ahead. I sighed heavily and thought if I could ever find someone better than Shin. It was almost impossible.
Shin had everything that men or women would want. Unless there is a clone of him, it would be utterly impossible to find another.
“Maybe it’s not about the perfect one.” A voice calls out.
I made it home, it was dark and no lights were on. I knew that Jin had not returned. I went to my room and bathed, washing away the scent of alcohol and cigarettes. I came out of the bath and undressed. Naked on the bed, I hummed softly and settled to sleep. My dreams were full of Shin and my family as they drifted me off into my sleeping chamber.
