I woke up the next day with a pounding headache. My thoughts kept me up all night as if a nightmare predicting my reality. I pushed the edging thoughts out of the way and got ready for my day.
The day I would tell Shin everything. My story. My identity.
I met my sister and Rin in the dining room and ate breakfast silently. My mind could not stay silent and I was thankful to be undisturbed before bidding farewell.
My sister and Rin decided to stay together and wait for my return. I gave my sister a hug while she reassured me once more, reminding me of her acceptance and support. I set off with contented feelings towards another fire of misery.
I pushed my work aside and focused on my thoughts. I knew I will be unable to focus anyway. I recited numerous times in my mind, what to say and do when the time comes.
I could have recited it a zillion times and still be terrified of the outcome.
Finally, I clocked out of work and made my way to Shin’s villa. Along my way, my heart was conflicted. As much as I wanted Shin to accept me, I knew there was a chance he would not. I struggled to balance out the option of exposing the truth or remaining in happiness.
I reached Shin’s room and hesitated. Just then, the door opened and Shin came out; pulling me in before locking the door. As soon as I got inside, he flung his arms and gave me a tight embrace.
“What took you so long? I kept waiting for the door to open after I saw you walking from a distance.”
Shin’s arms were wrapped tightly around my arms as he slowly licked my ear. I fell into his arms since my legs gave away the moment I saw him. He carried me to bed and stripped off my clothes.
I pulled hard at his hair, searching hungrily for his touch and embrace. He grunted greedily, exploring every inch of my body. Our bodies intertwined passionately.
(WARNING: Mature Content)
Please Skip If You Don’t Like It
I pushed him down dominantly and mapped my touch on this gorgeous man. I started licking his neck, marking my territory. My hands slipped down underneath his pants before reaching inside his underwear, stroking his shaft. I heard a moan as I coiled my fingers around his bulge.
I lowered my lips to his nipples, kissing and teasing them as I stroked him. I could tell he was begging to be released. I paused my actions, smirking up at him; and whispered.
“Take off your pants”, I grinned wickedly.
His next moment was so swift I could swear it was less than three seconds.
Again, I resumed my actions by pushing him down. Holding a finger to my lips, I positioned myself in between his legs without breaking our gaze.
I continued to stroke his shaft slowly as I watched his expression. The way his eyes squeezed shut, his heavy breathing sounded like a low “mi” from the music notes, his visible veins on his hands as they grabbed the sheets in ecstasy, and the outline of his toned, muscular body. He is so hot! And he is mine.
Breaking our gaze, I focused on his shaft as it swelled even larger. I could feel his climax building up. My body grew more excited and hungry to be connected.
Looking at his precum dripping onto my fingers, my hunger gave in as I licked it clean. Shin jerked up in surprise. Making eye contact, I bobbed my head lower and took all of him in my mouth.
“Yumi...” His voice grasp out sexily, followed by countless moans of a sex god.
My speed picked up, wanting his release in me. Finally, he uttered a grunt and released it into my mouth. Having the full taste of this man, I felt satisfied.
Shin reached over and switched positions, pinning my hands on the bed. He grinned at my shock. He surprised me once again by silencing me with a rough kiss, before whispering in my ear.
“My turn.”
I nodded, letting him take over. Shin made love to me as if there were no tomorrow. I held tightly onto him as I feared this would be the last time he would embrace me. Finally, I lay at his chest groaning as exhaustion took over my body.

Shin lit up a cigarette while stroking my hair gently. I smiled at him, sneaking a peek over his well-built body. He noticed my drool and chuckled loudly; making me realize what I did in front of him. I blushed once again as he kissed me softly on the lips.
Looking at his expression, I knew it was time to speak.
“Shin, I have something to say.” I braced myself for the worst and stated in a clear voice, ”I was born a girl.” I stopped at that sentence and waited patiently for his answer.
His first obvious reaction was his stiff frozen smile that was still locked on his face. Other than that, his reaction seems calm. Thinking that he had accepted it, I reached out and touched his arm gently.
Out of the blue, he slapped away my hand unconsciously before he realized it in terror.
“... I need to clear my mind…”
With that, he stood up, put on his pants and headed for the door. There I sat, dumbfounded and abandoned by him. After minutes of waiting, I realized he is not coming back.
Realizing the fact that I had been abandoned, my body wielded a sense of pain and darkness. Unable to contain the desperation, I sobbed loudly; releasing all my emotions.
Through my sobs, I recalled every memory of our meetings with each other; from our first meeting to the confession of love. Every memory now held pain and sadness.
The darkness of the room was suffocating. The emptiness in the large room only added to my loneliness. I slowly drifted off to sleep as tears soaked my pillow of the endless night.

As the sun shone down on my face, I opened my eyes to reveal the empty side on the other end. My eyes felt puffy and swollen. Sharp pain in my head alerted me of another pounding headache. I sat up and took in the belongings in the room.
I see mine. And I see things that are not mine. Two people. Two different human beings that should never be together. I was just too blind not to see it.
I signed deeply and made up my mind to leave.
Leave forever.
No returning to my home or work. Not going back to my sister or Rin or my identity as Yumi. Yumi is dead. So is Kaoru. This person I am now is neither dead nor alive. I am merely existing.
I got dressed and packed to leave. I went down to the hotel lobby and returned the hotel card. At the entrance, I threw away all the belongings with the identity of Yumi. My mobile phone, my company documents and name cards, my branded jacket, my laptop and even my wallet.
I called the banks and cancelled all my credit cards. I did not need those bank accounts with the money I earned from my sister. They belonged to her. Not me.
As I stepped out onto the streets, I had chosen a destination.
There is no way I’m staying in Korea any longer. Not even going back to Japan.
After debating endlessly, I made my decision and went to the airport.
DESTINATION: MALAYSIA
